He Was Doing Everything Right. Still Felt Stuck.

About those benches…

We started building the Sit Spot benches.

No announcement.
No launch.
No explaining what they’re “for.”

We just built them.

As of this week, 13 benches are finished.
And all 13 are already spoken for.

That surprised me. And also didn’t.

Each bench gets one word or phrase for people to contemplate. Burned in. No context. No explanation. Just a concept someone wants to sit with. Or wrestle with. Or remember.

The sponsorship is $50. That’s it.
Not a donation. Not a perk.
More like a quiet claim.

There are 42 total.
We’re opening up the remaining benches soon.

If you want one, just reply to this email with “bench.”
I’ll send details before we make it more public.

No urgency theater. Just first come.

What I’m noticing already is this: people are hungry for places where nothing is demanded of them. No output. No performance. No next step.

Which brings me to today’s feature.

The Man Who Put the Jar Down

It starts quiet.

A lawn. Early light. A mower humming while the rest of the neighborhood sleeps in. No stage lights. No audience. Just the steady back and forth of lines getting straighter.

This is where Red Wallace thinks.

Not in a mastermind room. Not pacing a hotel hallway between sessions. Out there. Where the noise thins out and the answers stop competing for attention.

It matters.

Because the work Red Wallace does is about helping people stop confusing motion with direction.

And a lot of men are exhausted from sprinting in circles.

The Problem Nobody Wants to Admit

Most of the guys who end up talking with Red Wallace look fine from the outside.

Jobs. Families. Responsibilities handled. Bills paid. Faith intact, at least on paper.

Inside is another story.

They are overwhelmed by options. Haunted by the fear of missing the right one. Carrying a low level anxiety that whispers, You should be further along by now.

Red does not start with strategy.

He starts with story.

The one playing on repeat in a man’s head. The one that decides which risks feel holy and which feel reckless. The one that quietly determines whether success feels satisfying or strangely empty.

Most people try to fix their lives without ever questioning the narrative running the show.

Red calls that backwards.

Not Everything Good Is a God Thing

This is where his work gets uncomfortable in the best way.

Red serves Christian men and entrepreneurial leaders, but he refuses to sell certainty wrapped in scripture. His coaching is not about telling people what to do. It is about teaching them how to think clearly enough to choose for themselves.

Because discernment is harder than obedience.

And far more necessary.

Just because an opportunity looks good does not mean it belongs to you. Just because you can pursue something does not mean you should. Most burnout comes from saying yes to things that never asked for your soul in the first place.

Red helps men slow down enough to notice the difference.

Identity Before Income

Here is the trap.

Ask someone what they do and they answer instantly. Ask who they are and the room gets quiet.

Red knows that trap well. He grew up performing. Sports. Music. Ten years as a rapper chasing success with real momentum. Then a hard pivot.

He walked away.

Not because the work was wrong. Because it had quietly become an idol.

What followed was an anonymous season. A stay at home dad. Church service. Fewer accolades. More silence.

And clarity.

It was there he learned something most leaders resist. Your calling is bigger than the container you put it in. The vehicle can change. The essence does not.

At his core, Red helps people. Always has. Music was one way. Coaching is another. Teaching, mentoring, podcasting. Different forms. Same thread.

When men grasp that distinction, everything loosens. Pressure drops. Decisions simplify.

They stop trying to protect a role and start honoring a purpose.

The Butterfly in the Jar

Red tells a story that lingers.

He once had a vivid image of monarch butterflies trapped in a glass jar. Too many to move. Wings pressed against transparent walls.

Then the lid lifted.

Monarchs have an internal compass. They know where to go without being told. But not if they are confined.

The metaphor landed hard.

Screens. Schedules. Noise. Constant consumption. Even good things can become glass walls.

Step outside and something changes. Space returns. Perspective stretches. The mind remembers how to migrate.

This is not poetic fluff. It is practical theology for overstimulated leaders.

Coaching That Aims to Be Fired

Red measures success in a strange way.

His goal is to get fired.

Not dramatically. Quietly. When a client no longer needs him to think for them. When they trust their own discernment. When the anxiety loses ownership of their decisions.

He has seen it happen.

An attorney who gave himself permission to become a songwriter. Signed to an indie label. Albums released. Joy restored.

A young entrepreneur who tried on paths until one aligned, then walked away from the rest without guilt.

These are not overnight transformations. They are identity realignments.

Small shifts. Lasting impact.

Faith Without Performance

There is a specific kind of exhaustion that shows up in Christian leaders.

The belief that God is perpetually disappointed. That abundance is suspicious. That rest must be earned.

Red dismantles that gently. Firmly.

God is not an angry manager waiting for you to mess up. Discipline exists. So does delight. Prosperity is not the enemy of holiness. Neither is ambition when it is anchored properly.

Many men come to Red believing they are just something.

Just a provider. Just a dad. Just a guy trying to keep it together.

He reminds them that just is a lie.

Why the Lawn Matters

Red gets some of his best insights while mowing.

Movement without noise. Repetition without distraction. Nature doing what it does without asking permission.

Walks. Quiet drives. Sitting outside with nothing to prove.

It is not escape. It is recalibration.

Most leaders do not need another tactic. They need margin. They need fewer voices. They need space to listen.

And they need someone willing to tell them the truth without trying to run their life.

This Is Bigger Than Coaching

Red Wallace is not building a brand that depends on him being indispensable.

He is building men who are clear, grounded, and capable of leading without burning everything down in the process.

Husbands. Fathers. Entrepreneurs. Creators. Believers.

People who know when to say no. And why.

People who can put the jar down.

Want to Continue the Conversation?

If this resonated, do not overthink it.

Connect with Red. Start a conversation. See what clarity feels like again.

👉 Connect with Red Wallace on Instagram: https://instagram.com/coach.redwallace

Sometimes the next step is not doing more.

It is seeing clearly.

The whole conversation is here…

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